Seven ways to see yourself through new eyes
By Jessenia Barros
"Self-love seems so often unrequited."
- Anthony Powell
Wrong concepts mar our way of thinking, affecting our lives and the way we behave. We have been conditioned to believe giving our primary attention and love to the person we see when we look into the mirror is ‘selfish’. But the truth is, you cannot give what you do not have, the only way those around us can feel our love and compassion is when we feel it inside.
Why then do you feel guilty when you put yourself first? There is nothing wrong with loving yourself.
Before marriage I had a toxic side, letting people hurt me, belittle and make me feel unworthy. My time, money, and emotions were constantly being consumed and tested to the limit.
Then it all flipped, I saw what was important…ME… and I focused my energy on myself. It was a much-needed release; I never realized how thirsty I was for love. Not from anyone else but myself. I realized how happy and fulfilled I could be just by doing something so simple but underrated. Rather than stress over mending broken bonds with others (that may never be fixed), I worked on myself, reminding myself of my value, focusing on positive relationships.
The way we approach everything changes when we do so from a place of love and acceptance rather than hate, rejection, and guilt. This is why self-love and appreciation should never be taken for granted; it is the backbone that determines how successful our relationship with others will turn out.
Charity begins at home.
There can be only ONE you.
Millions of human beings cover the face of the earth but there is no one else like you, comparing yourself and measuring your achievements based on others is futile. Everyone has a story, judging and analyzing from a distance would most likely lead to false conclusions. It is up to you to decide what affects you and where you focus your energy, putting all that mental energy and time on someone else instead is a waste. Why not appreciate yourself instead, stop scrutinizing and beating yourself up. Pat yourself on the back, you have come this far, appreciate your skills, flaws, and achievements.
You deserve better…
That gnawing feeling of dissatisfaction at the back of our minds. The feeling you get when you settle for less. Some people stay in relationships that have lost their spark or keep friends that bring them down because they are scared to be alone, others keep working for the pay even when it drives them crazy to go to work each morning, the list goes on and on. But true peace is only achieved when you reach a point of peace. Don’t stop in that spot, reach out for the top.
Never too late for self-acknowledgement.
The best way to make sure you keep a constant stream of positivity coming into your life is by recognizing the little things you bring to the world. Be happy about your couch, your bed, the vehicle you can afford, that outfit in your wardrobe. Realize how valuable you are to those around you this is a big step in the right direction.
Nurture Strong Bonds
You do not need a crowd, having just two individuals that see and believe in you is enough. Be far away from people or situations that cause the feeling of worthlessness to linger in your mind. Surrounding yourself with people that have a positive mindset is important, focus on developing that connection you have with them.
Saying ‘NO’ is not that hard
The freedom that comes when you have the power to control the actions you take can only be understood when you practice it. Forcefully doing things you do not really want to do can restrict your spirit and deter your mind. I am not saying helping others is bad however when this becomes toxic to the point that you constantly have to put yourself down or in an uncomfortable position to offer help then, you need to step back. Hold yourself in high regard by removing these situations from your life.
Lines that should never be crossed
Limits are there for a reason. It fosters the act of respect in any relationship. Establishing boundaries helps to clearly define what you believe in and how you want to be treated by others. Doing this does not restrict but rather liberates you. Know what you want and stand by it no matter the pressure to make you break.
Listen to the voice within
What is your vision? What you really want to do or achieve? Run towards that because it is a constant fire that will keep burning no matter how hard you try to extinguish it. It always comes back later. Be aware of those things that put a genuine smile on your face and ignites true joy in your heart.
There can be numerous things we yearn to do whether big or small, things that keep us awake at night and constantly echoes at the back of our minds. Take a step towards realizing these passions even if it means making a few life changes.
The starting point is with us. To channel love, joy, and goodness to the world around us we have to be filled with these first. Do not ignore the one person that deserves your love the most…YOU.
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